This is not the post I intended to write today. I think there is a quote that goes something like, "Life is something that happens while you are busy making other plans." More about that later in the post. If you are a client of mine or have attended one of my talks you have probably heard me say, "It's all about the food but it's not about the food." What do I mean by this? Whether your goal is to lose weight or to have more energy or to eat "cleaner," your success in reaching your goal is really predicated on your intention, not on the calories or nutrients or their bioavailability. Yes, nutrient-density, activity, water, absorption, organically grown or conventional--all this and other sh*t matters--to a degree. You can learn to about why these aspects of food and nourishment are essential through seminars, books, videos, shopping lists, meal plans and all the services I offer or whichever 'health guru' that you are resonating with offers. You can buy every time-saving gadget that your local kitchen supply center tempts your crow-eye with or that Amazon can deliver to your door before you can blink. You can assemble every convenient, "healthy" shipped-to-your-cutting-board meal box (what's up with those?) that crosses your Facebook feed. Ask yourself: Are you really reaching your health goals or are these quick fixes and "feel-goods?" Do you reach your goal and maintain it? Are you creating new sustainable habits that become beautiful, life-long behaviors that keep you feeling well inside and out, month after month, year after year? What is the real craving you are trying to satisfy? It's not entirely about the food, the gadgets, the recipes, the cookbooks, the coaching. None of it. Your wellness with food is determined by the intention you bring to it and the actions you consistently--I will repeat for emphasis: consistently--apply to. your wellness. Some real questions: What is your relationship with food? Is it positive? Benevolent? Peaceful? Kind to your body and the planet? Is it stressful? Shrouded with shame? Self-sabotaging? Out-of-control, leaving you feeling unwell? Are you cycling in and out of feelin' good-feeling' bad? Why do your intentions and consistency become sidetracked? What I really do when I work with people is help them reprogram and rewire the old habits, patterns and thoughts that keep sabotaging their best efforts to stay on track with healthy eating. Emotional eating, stress eating, mindless eating, and night-time snacking are just a few of the habits that undermine wellness goals. It's very easy to "eat our feelings" and ignore the imbedded reasons behind disordered eating. Food can be used like a drug to self-sedate, provide distraction, or create false comfort. Food can nourish or food can diminish. The key is to go deep and look inside where these habits and behaviors started and got their foothold. This is very, very hard work, indeed. Here is where one-on-one coaching and the fellowship of peer support helps: to know you are guided and not alone in your challenges with food. I write this with no judgement. The relationship with food is a very personal path. Mine was and is. If I could come up with one ultimate recipe it would be the recipe to love oneself. This is where we begin to make peace with our food choices and habits. The method might be something like this: Look in the mirror and inside your heart and no matter what you see or feel, say out loud, "I'm okay. I am enough. I am loved." Heck, write it on your mirror. The intention of this dream ultimate-lifeforce-sustaining recipe would be to have all the soul-supporting ingredients for perfect nourishment. What would be the ingredients in your own personal soul-supporting recipe? What is it that your soul and spirit is hungry for? What non-food ingredients are in your soul-satisfying recipe? I can guarantee the soul-food ingredients are not coming from a store, a Facebook post, in an Amazon box or even from this blog post. My original post was going to be about fullness and satiety or whatever we think over-eating is but I will post that for the next Wellness Wednesday. My thoughts today had to shift because yesterday morning I got word another friend took his life. That's two friends in 2 f***ing years! Like my friend Kris, Eric struggled with alcohol and self-love. Eric and I were estranged friends for the last 18 years or so, but that does not matter. I will always know Eric as kind, loving, giving, funny and supportive. Eric taught this diehard skier to snowboard when I was 30 and I was a snowboarder ever-after. He helped many, many people of all ages ride the slopes and feel the magic of snowboarding, including my son. He was a good and kind teacher. Eric also helped me with childcare for my son when I needed it and he thoroughly enjoyed being a care-giver. He saved me from mommy-madness more than once. He helped me garden and landscape, transforming our NH property. He was really, really good at it and was an invaluable assistant to his long-time partner and her landscaping and property maintenance business. Eric was a good friend to both my husband and me. We shared meals and a lot of laughs. He was a very patient dog-sitter for our goofball-compost pile-raiding-boy-dog, Porter. It is the light within Eric that we will cherish, remember and be thankful for, estrangement and tender acknowledgement of his challenges with alcohol, aside. I am sharing this because I feel it is important to acknowledge that we all have struggles. Like alcohol, food addiction and/or eating disorders can present real and life-threatening consequences. The affects on loved ones may present differently with food issues than they do with alcohol but the devastating results can be the same. Self-destruction is self-destruction. Self-love, then, may be the greatest challenge of all. The behaviors we exhibit outwardly are not the complete expression of who we are inwardly. It's okay to look inside and not judge oneself. Find help to take the action you need to address your challenges and then begin the baby steps of recovery. There is always someone appreciating you for who you are and can offer fellowship and support. Most importantly, may you find your own Self-appreciation. No food-for-the-body recipe this week. Just this: Just for today, be kind to yourself as you would be kind to others. Know that you are a shining light even in your darkness. Reach out when your darkness gets too heavy. Serve this to yourself this day and every day afterward. Here's a tune to remind all of us that we are eternal light, beautiful beings without boundaries. Blessings of Spirit fro Eric and his loved ones. And to all of you. Shine on always, in all ways. xo Beth
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorSoul Full Living is about connecting with what honors and nourishes your soul. Archives
September 2022
Categories |